This, Too, Shall Pass!

The Corona Virus has reached the United States, and America has lost its collective mind.

Everyone in my neighborhood has stockpiled to the point where all of the local markets–including Sam’s–is fresh out of hand sanitizer, soap, and toilet paper. Politicians broke into my entire TV lineup to announce that the city is systematically closing. Now that the emergency is more than just rumor, Jenise–my personal stockpiler–is upset that she did not get the jump on everyone else. We had an argument last week about her borderline hoarder tendencies, and she’s still chapped about that. She refuses to buy anything, content to let us run out of whatever we have on hand. It’s her passive-aggressive way of teaching me a lesson–and winning an argument that I conceded last week.

That’s a whole ‘nother story. Let me stick to this one.

I’m not saying that the Coronavirus isn’t serious business. Just the opposite. Anything that the government doesn’t give you the whole story about is serious business. I’m saying that this is not the time for a nation-wide panic. This is the time to do the cool-headed and responsible thing.

America has always had to deal with a Big Bad Virus. My personal conspiracy theory is that most of these viruses were cooked up in laboratories for the purpose of eliminating people who White Supremacists consider “undesirable”. Inevitably, the virus would get out of control–because that’s what viruses do!–and spread to those whom it was never intended to harm. Think about it: the AIDS virus initially targeted the homosexual community. Ebola killed over 300,000 Africans and was deemed incurable for years until a Caucasian got infected, and then, “Land O’Goshen! A vaccine!” The Coronavirus started in China, but nobody cared until it spread to Europe. Now, we’re hearing that people in China are miraculously recovering from it?

I do not believe in coincidence, and I do NOT trust the government. This was somebody’s science experiment, and we have all become lab rats.